Subscribe or Die

When an alien streaming conglomerate strip-mines Earth into a 100-floor dungeon and turns the survivors into content, washed-up analytics manager Fritz does the math: the only way out is up, and the only way to afford up is to go viral.

Good news: his sister Lyra reads fine print like it owes her money, his sister Panda befriends things that should be eaten by them, and the family’s lifelong coping mechanism, jokes at the worst possible moment, turns out to be the most valuable currency in the galaxy.

Bad news: the platform is held together with duct tape, the audience wants them dead by floor three, and Panda just signed a sponsorship deal nobody read.

A system-apocalypse with sharp teeth and sharper paperwork, where the dungeon is a company, survival is an engagement metric, and the only weapons that work are a good joke and a carefully read contract. For anyone who has ever rage-read a terms-of-service agreement. Book One of The Broadcast: laugh first, pay later.