● LIVE · S47
The Broadcast

SEASON 47 · IDLE PROTOCOL

SUBSCRIBER TYCOON

Earth is content now. Tap to go viral, recruit the cast, out-lawyer the platform's cut, and descend all one hundred floors. The numbers are the weapon.

● SEASON 47 FLOOR 1 / 100

0 followers

0/s net after the platform's cut

PLATFORM SKIM 50%

booting the broadcast…

HYPE
// CONTENT ENGINE
  • Repost Bot Steals your clip and tags it #original. You get the followers; it gets your dignity. 0 owned · 0/s each
    0
  • Sourdough Stand Tomás feeds forty strangers a landing. The starter has more emotional range than the platform. 0 owned · 0/s each
    0
  • Foam Finger Panda's #1 sign. Nine billion aliens point back. Nobody knows at what. 0 owned · 0/s each
    0
  • Lyra's Footnotes Citations so devastating the audience subscribes out of legal fear and respect. 0 owned · 0/s each
    0
  • Phil's Zipper Sounds exactly eleven times per crisis. Each zip is, somehow, monetizable. 0 owned · 0/s each
    0
  • Greg the Wyrm Ten thousand human teeth, one personality: needy. Pulls a crowd. Do not hug. 0 owned · 0/s each
    0
  • Crowbar Cache One honest tool. Does exactly one thing, unlike everything else on this platform. 0 owned · 0/s each
    0
  • The PTA Dads Five men so prepared the apocalypse keeps asking THEM if this counts. It has a cooler. 0 owned · 0/s each
    0
  • Wol, Guide Emeritus Reads the terms aloud for eleven minutes. Highest sustained engagement in platform history. 0 owned · 0/s each
    0
// DESCEND

Reset this run for a permanent +2% per crowbar and drop a floor (each floor: +10% income).

Descend now: 0 crowbars · have 0

// TOP CONTESTANTS
  1. loading…

// CROWBAR EXCHANGE0 crowbars
  • Galactic Reach Lv0 +15% all income per level. 0
  • Thumb Reinforcement Lv0 +30% tap power per level. 0
  • Retained Counsel Lv0 Permanent skim −2% per level. (The lawyer tree.) 0
  • Body of Precedent Lv0 Permanent skim −1.5% per level. 0
// SPONSORSHIP↻ rotates daily

More income for a higher platform skim. Today’s offers (new set at midnight):

// UPGRADES
  • Better Punchlines Taps land 2x. The audience laughs first and reads the fee later. 0
  • Comedic Timing Taps land 3x. Tragedy plus time, minus the time. 0
  • Sector 9 Megaphone Every generator earns 2x. Subtlety was never going to scale. 0
  • Game the Algorithm Every generator earns 2x. The algorithm is a god and gods love bribes. 0
  • Repost Bot v2 Repost Bots earn 3x. Now with 0% additional shame. 0
  • Greg Goes Viral Greg earns 3x. The clip where he "just wants a hug" hit 312M views. 0
  • Laugh First Jokes are the only currency the platform cannot skim. All income 1.5x. 0
  • Pay Later All income 2x. The "later" is load-bearing and approaching. 0
  • Hire the Lawyer (Lyra) Platform skim −20%. She read the contract. All of it. Twice. 0
  • Cite the Precedent Platform skim −15%. The fee on page 31,002 fails the readability index. 0
  • Senior Lien Platform skim −15%. The archived's lives outrank the platform's rent. 0
  • Repost Bot Swarm Repost Bots earn 5x more. 0
  • Surgical Timing Taps land 4x. 0
  • Sourdough Franchise Sourdough Stands earn 5x. 0
  • Own the Algorithm Every generator earns 3x. 0
  • Greg, Household Name Greg earns 4x. 0
  • The Whole Face All income 2.5x. Tell one friend, out loud. 0
  • Dad Logistics The PTA Dads earn 4x. 0
  • Class Action Platform skim −10%. Forty-six seasons of plaintiffs. 0
  • Wol, Senior Partner Wol earns 4x. 0
// ACHIEVEMENTS 0/21
  • First Blood (Five Stars) Tap GO VIRAL once. The bar is on the floor. So is the city.
  • Carpal Tunnel Survivor Tap 1,000 times. A doctor would have words. There are no doctors.
  • Repetitive Strain Influencer Tap 25,000 times. This is a cry for help the platform tagged ENGAGEMENT: POSITIVE.
  • Soulless at Scale Own 100 Repost Bots. Originality was a phase.
  • Sourdough Industrial Complex Own 100 Sourdough Stands. The starter has achieved legal personhood.
  • A Reasonable Number of Worms Recruit 50 Gregs. That is 500,000 human teeth. You counted. You monster.
  • The Whole Disaster Own at least one of every generator. The band is back together and suing.
  • Seven Figures of Spite Earn 1,000,000 followers. Lyra read all of them. Out loud.
  • Ten-Figure Grief Earn 1,000,000,000 followers. The platform is, legally, your stalker.
  • The Entire Surviving Population Earn 6,000,000,000 followers. The other number is not discussed on camera.
  • A Number With a Therapist Earn 1,000,000,000,000 followers. Sentiment analysts have stopped returning calls.
  • Drinking From the Firehose Hit 1,000,000 followers/sec of gross income. The servers wept.
  • Allergic to Refunds Cut the platform skim below 30%. Legal settled in four minutes. Legal never settles in four minutes.
  • The Archived Outrank the Rent Cut the platform skim to the floor (5%). The font that does not exist approves.
  • Tutorial, Technically Cleared Descend to Floor 10. The elevator is still missing.
  • Mid-Season Crisis Descend to Floor 50. Halfway to a finale nobody greenlit.
  • Acquisition Reach Floor 100. You won the motion. Six billion ratio.
  • One Honest Tool, A Hundred Times Bank 100 crowbars. The armory is now a theology.
  • Leverage Is the Whole Personality Bank 1,000 crowbars. You have descended professionally.
  • Know Thy Sibling Choose a guild role. Commitment is a love language and a debuff.
  • Brought To You By Sign a sponsor contract. When the hug comes from inside the worm.

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